It’s been a weird past couple of weeks. I don’t know why I think it’s necessary for me to mention that I moved onto my first iPhone, but I’m going to: I’ve moved onto my first iPhone. And I instantly turned into the person I thought I would never be – the person constantly glued to their screen, swiping down on every app just to refresh what might be minuscule and insignificant updates that other people filter just so their lives look more entertaining than yours. I’m making it seem like I’m much older than I am, which seems to be a shitty inadvertent theme anyways?

Fancy dinner on some Sunday. It was great. I shall not talk about the accidental crunchy journey home because it’ll give you more fodder to poke at what might be my already hilarious life, but I’m still mentioning its existence because it makes me look mysterious even though what it should make me look like is gross.… read more